so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
