no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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