yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
