I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
