I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
