Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
