i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We were destined to go to rehab together
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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