The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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