Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
