so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
