Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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