Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
