Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
