we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Houston, we have a squirter
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
