Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
