I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
