I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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