I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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