im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
