fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
