why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize