That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
