It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
