all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
that is very illegal...i love you.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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