You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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