I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
