Its about making memories worth repressing
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
