I don't think brook has ever known best
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
