Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
