and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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