i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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