I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
