To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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