My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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