I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
