so explain again why im purple
no
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
