Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm too high and old for this...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
