i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
