No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
