just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
