kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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