what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Houston, we have a blender
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
