I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
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