i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
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we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
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You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize