sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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