Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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