So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
