If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
