Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
