Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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