her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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