I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
