: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
