dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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