We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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