at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize